Hello World

It has been forever since I posted on here... So Many things have changed.
Crystal has been cancer free for several years.
I am almost through with college.
Hank has moved to Chicago.
Jason is about to become a paramedic.
Brad is out of the navy~~they have moved close to Tulsa.
The grandkids have grown but are still the light of my life.
One constant~~Hubby is still fishing.... :-)
My mom's health has really gone down hill~~this really bothers me.
We bought a house and moved back to our home town.

Life has been hectic. We have gone through many changes, heart aches and blessed times.

However, somethings are still the same... We are still blessed~~God is still important to us all ~~ Family still comes first~~~~ Life goes on!!

I didn't go to Shawn's funeral today.. I should have but I just couldn't. I couldn't face all the heartache I knew would be there... He is a hero in my eyes.. Always will be Cancer is a horrible thing.. Especially when your 37 and have two children that you have raised as a single parent for the last 5 yrs. or more...

Hank has me worried....
Jason is about to get in over his head renting a new place...
I miss Brad and his family....

I can't sleep at night then I want to sleep all day.... My life feels upside down right now....

But tomorrow is another day......Pray for Shawn's family.. His wife of only a few months Angela.. His daughter Kaitlyn and son Eric.... Teresa his mom's twin and Nana to his children who will take on the responsiblity of raising them........

Hormones~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok.. enough is enough...!!
I have to work the rest of the week.. I have had 6 days in a role off and I have done nothing but clean house to speak of. My younger boys are in London having the time of their life. My oldest is taking days off work because his child had pnemonia (some of the worse days in my life were when my kids were sick.) Hubby is working but stopped by the casino last night.. Yes he called.. Said I'm going to be about 30 minutes late. we are just stopping for a few minutes.. I called him THREE -3 --YES three hours later. They hadn't left yet... You know how it is when you sit and you wait on someone and watch the clock.. He walked in the door and I went off on him....................... It's definately time for a hormone shot~~~!!!!!!!
So.... I"m off to the doctor then I'm going Shopping for Kali's birthday gift... I might even end up the two hours away and check in on her and her little brother..or end up at the Casino myself today..... I'm not sure..but I know one thing....
This house is not for me today... I"M OUT OF HERE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a good one!!

The Holidays

I don't really know what the problem is lately.. I feel so down and depressed most of the time.. maybe it's school and the pressures there, maybe it's my job and having to make sure that so many foster children have a Christmas, maybe it's helping my kids have Christmas.. or maybe it's money.. the boys are both out of money.. it seems everyweek it takes all we make just for expenses and our bills are piling up.. Hank's grant money didn't last like it should have and we have to pay his bills and ours also.. Where does it all end.. the pressure is killing us...
But then on the other hand.. we are so lucky.. Crystal is going through radiation now.. she is doing so good.. at least we have that blessing.. why should I even grip about anything else.. what right do I have to be depressed when there are so many that have so little...
Yet still I feel so down like I have no reason to smile.. the holidays should be a good time .. when actually statistic show it's one of the most stressful times.. there are more deaths and break ups over this period...
Hubby hates Christmas.. his mom died when he was about 14.. Christmas was her favorite time.. after she died his dad turned to the bottle to get through the day... so they had no Christmas except what neighbors or churches brought them... He is really stressed over the holidays... his family even never gets together or has dinner like most families because it does stress all of them so much................
I sure wish I had a rich uncle that would get out of the poor house as my dad used to say... when he would worry about money he would say.. oh well my rich uncle will get out of the poor house soon and I won't have to worry about it........... I really thought he meant it... LOL....
I miss my Daddy!!!!!! *sigh*

Happy Birthday to ME~~!!!

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to ME!!!
Wow.. I"M 50 Years old today!!! Does that mean I"m on the down hill side of life... NOPE... My daddy used to say when you turn 50 life begins again...
My Happy Thought for today is..
When I worked at the bank I turned 35.. I thought it was the end of the world, I cried all day. I dressed in a black shirt and pink rockies to go to work.. They made me a black cake with pink roses on it.. They bought my lunch, at lunch I was so upset I could hardly eat.. A man I worked with was about 60 or so.. He said down beside me and said " What are you so upset about.. I mean look at it.. YOU have two choices: You can either turn 35 or push up daisies... I don't know about you but I"m in no hurry to push up daisies" It was about three or so weeks later right before Christmas I think he died of a heart attack.!! I never looked at birthdays quite the same... Now I look at them like I"m not getting older.. I"m just getting better and wiser...
Happy Thought... At least I am here to celebrate my 50th birthday. I have my family and they all love me.. I"m a lucky woman today!!!
I used to sit with a little precious lady that had Alzheimer.. One of her favorite sayings was... "Don't ya wish you had one"!! Well see.. "Don't ya wish today was your Birthday!"
Enjoy your day... whatever your doing!!