Crystal's Birthday..!!

Today is Crystal's birthday .. She is 14.. Yesterday we have a huge family dinner at Granny's for her. She got lots of presents and was really surprised when she got a pearl and diamond necklace, ear rings, and ring from her parents... it was really great... She looked so happy... Her mom shaved her head in support of Crissy... That helped soo much... She goes back on Tuesday for her last round of chemo.. well at least the last round for now...Pray everything is going to be gone and ok...

My boys were all home this weekend.. It's rare that we have Brad home without his family... it started out as just harmless chit chat.. but Hank and Brad got to discussing politics... it got pretty bad... Whether I agree or not with either one of them was not the point.. as a mom I was upset that they could yell at each other like they would a stranger about whether the war in Iraq is right and if Bush has any sense in his head... They have always been a bit of rivals. The other boys call Brad my golden boy and yet.. I have never understood that.. I'm closer to them than him.... Brad and Henry are really close.. I think sometimes one of them breaths out so the other can breath in.. I tell them this.. You know we don't love one more than the other..but sometimes personality and interests will draw us closer to one person than another.. That in no way means you love them more or less.. Just different...

My son's friends are always saying.. "your mom doesn't like me.. I can tell"... How can they tell..?? do they know me that well..?? I don't think so.... I might not always agree with their friends.. or see eye to eye.. just as my boys don't.always agree on politics....but I like all my boys friends.. they have good friends because they are good boys... Right now I'm a bit troubled about one of Hank's friends... This is one that has always thought I didn't like her.. The fact is.. I love her... she is different granted but she has always been a burden on my heart.. She is different because of the life she has had... it's not her fault.. in her own way she is a precious young lady...I"m proud of her!! She is now married and about to have a child... yet I read her xanga... I read between the lines because I do know her well... from over the years... I wish I knew what was troubling her...She should be in her happiest days.. Just married expectin her first child.. yet I read a sadness or restlessness in her words.... Pray for this young lady.... I wish her only the best always... !!

I'm kinda sad myself lately.. I never had a daughter... I have had a few nieces that I feel are my own... and one sister in law that I couldn't feel closer to than if we were twins..but... no girls of my own (until I got Kaci and Kali that is)... My niece and her hubby are about to move to Hawaii..(he is air force).. He leaves Nov 15.. she will stay until after Christmas... then go over... Today at church we had a going away dinner for them.. She cried, lots of people cried... I didn't.. why?? because if I started to cry I'm not sure I would stop... So many things have been going wrong in our lives lately... if I started the walls of pretend would break and it would be worse than New Orleans!!!! Her little girl told me today.. I will be 13 before we get to move back.. the same age as Crystal.. OMG..............I don't even want to think of her kids growing up without me around to watch over them.. Hawaii is a long ways..but I just might need to go visit from time to time... Now I just have to figure out when because of school and how because of money.. any contributions can be sent to my home address thank you very much..!! LOL....

Well here is to a new week... a week full of nothing but happy hearts and pleasant thoughts.............. Start your week with Prayer and every thing else will fall into place... !!! Have a good one!!! **HUGS**

Just a few pics from the past...!!

Vickie and Crissy


Hank, Brandy and Crissy
Jason and Crissy


Crystal with her parents.. Vickie and Randy at Brooke's wedding this last year before Crissy got sick...
I am going to try to add some pictures from the past... wish me luck!!

Copied from my xanga...

Friday, October 28, 2005

I can't sleep... it's late.. I have too much on my mind.. my ear hurts... I'm restless and edgy... I was asleep and about 11:30 Vickie called me. (my sister-Crystal's mom) It's odd that she would call me that late. I instantly thought something was wrong. She said no I just never returned your call from earlier today.. We talked a bit then she began to cry. I ask what was wrong. She said.... "I just shaved my head". It seems Crystal has been trying to go back to school this week. It's been really hard for her. Before she got sick the girls there were sometimes cruel about their remarks and comments. (I have a big problem with people that do that... either be the same or shut up..but don't be one way one time and another way another time...be honest about how you feel about your friends. honest enough to tell them what you tell others) Crystal thought since she had gotten sick that the girls had grown up. Petty jealousy and games would be a thing of the past. She was wrong. They act about the same except for a couple of special ones. Crystal feels left out and alone. The boy that was her boyfriend before she got sick won't even talk to her now. (he doesn't want bothered with being her friend--his words)..She told her mom she thought her friends would support her and help her though and they have just made it harder for her..... So to show her support Vickie shaved her own head. When Crissy went to bed Vick called me... How do you protect your child? How do you know what to say when things like cancer threaten their very existance? How do you protect them from peer pressure and harmless teasing in some eyes but hurtful back stabbing in others? As a Mom what can you do?? If you defend and get involved you look like you hate their friends... If you shut up it looks like you approve of the teasing or back stabling.... If your child ignores it then the problem only gets worse.... ONLY GOD HAS THE ANSWER... PRAYER!!!

Crystal is going through soooo much right now..just the battle to stay alive and beat the cancer is more than most adults could handle ... let alone a 13 yr old girl.. when this is over she will be such a stronger person and realize that her friends weren't worthy of being called HER friend if that is how they choose to act.....But until then... how do you handle this problem?

It makes those petty jealousy and hateful meaningless comments seem so uncalled for and unimportant.... There is a person in one of my classes at school..She seems like a very sweet person..but resently I without ever realizing she would repeat and add to what I said...or even know the person i referred tooo I commented on one of my boys and how he gets annoyed with little things like his phone ringing non-stop.. he has lots of friends and little day time minutes..Plus he is a guy.. guys don't talk on the phone like us girls do... but this person took what I said.. blew it up some and made a harmless comment into a huge problem.... this is how the girls are doing Crystal.......... why does these things happen.. LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR this kind of crap!! We all need to watch what we say.. and treasure those people in our lives that God has placed here for a short time..Me included...

When I was in high school my very best friend's sister got killed... I grew up that yr so much more than I had before.. Life took on a new meaning to me and I saw things so different than others in my class that didn't know my friend or her sister... It changed me.. Just as all this will change Crystal and all of us who are affected by it.. I know it has already started to change us.. My boys try to hide it but there are times... They are doing the man thing.... They don't want to talk to anyone... They hold it all inside.. as their mom.. I'm soo proud of how they have supported Crissy and been there for her..but also as their mom I wonder..Why? We aren't suppose to question God ever..but... lately I wonder not question just wonder why God picked Crystal .. Why my boys? It's a big burden to them to always be there for her... to support her and treat her as they always have... make her feel like the little sister that annoyes them and they love above and beyond ...Yet they welcome this "burden of love" they embrace it with open hearts.... They might be short some days with others... have little to say because these little things seem petty in view of what is actually going on in our lives ... yet they never fail to be there for her...She is THEIR little SISTER... the one they never had.. and the big brothers she never had... So all I can say is look out world... Here comes trouble if you upset her ..... She is special.. God made her special... She will always be special..... God won't give more than we can handle but he will help us handle what he gives us.....That might be knockin some heads together huh boys to set a few thoughtless teenagers in good old LW straight!!!

Crystal's birthday is Oct 30th.. she will be 14.. We are having a party at my mom's on Saturday for her..if anyone would like to send her a note or ecard her email address is crissy73655@yahoo.com ..I know she will love that.. She starts her last round of chemo on Tuesday....21 days in the round then they will go in and redo all the tests to find out exactly what is going on with the cancer ................ PRAY.... for her and her parents... Plus I'm not sure many know this.. Crystal's grandmother (her dad's mom) has been so upset about all this she had a heart attack a few weeks back.. Crystal has worried it was her fault..(which it wasn't)... See how much this young child has on her mind and so she tries to go back to school to get it off her mind and live a normal life and BANG... it's normal all right, complete with worthless comments and hurtful looks....

Life isn't fair.... But then God never promised us heaven on earth did he.... He just promised us eternal life if we trust in him!!! Only he can save us..... !!! The Power of PRAYER is AWESOME!!





Thursday, October 27, 2005

Wow!! What a relief... I just took my psychology test...!! I was a nervous wreck.!! I managed to make an 82 on it.. I wanted to do better but hey .. that is a B.. I'm OK with that!!! I think Jason made an A in this class last year... I can't let him out do me that bad... Hank said it was the hardest class he ever took and he made a B in it... My boys are smart.. what can I say... it would be nice if I could say they got it from me!! LOL

Speaking of my boys... You know.. I have always been really proud of them..but each day I think that pride gets a little bit bigger... My daddy used to always say.. your just as good as the friends you hang out with.. remember that and choose wisely because if they mess up.. you will be blamed right along with them..!!! My daddy was a smart man... As each day passes and I get to know my boy's friends ever better I KNOW I have good boys.. They have great friends.. I don't think there is a girl that Jason knows that I wouldn't approve of as a daughter in law... Each one of them are special and he is close to each one in a special way... Hank is a friend to everyone he knows.. he is always trying to help them fix things in their lives and be there for them...Brad has a wonderful wife.. he is a fantastic dad.. where did he learn that from.. a good combination of his dad and myself I would guess... I might be a long way from perfect.. I might make huge mistakes at times..but my boys still love me.. They are great kids.. Love the Lord... and have good friends that do tooo.....

Oh Jason has friends that get upset with him at times... lol.. he is bad about not having his phone with him and they think he is ignoring him.. Just tonight at the Sonic I had a girl from his home town rush up to me and ask me what Jason's problem was.. he never answers his phone and doesn't return her calls... I put the blame where it belongs.. after all I"M the mom... He and Hank share 500 day time minutes... Jason's phone rings off the wall at times.. unless they have cingular he is using the minutes.. which isn't a problem if it's weekends or after 9PM or it's a cingular call.. other wise Jason uses all the minutes and Hank is left with nothing.. or the bill goes sky high...So I told her.. Well that is probably my fault.. I get on to him for using all the minutes and always on the phone... She was really nice about it.. I sure Hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings... I'm just being a mom like always..lol...I tend to get a little defensive with girls that like to spend too much time in my boy's lives.. ask my daughter in law.. before they got married.. I was horrible at times... I didn't know how to let go and back off.. I"m better now but gee.... those are my babies................. I wanted them to stay little and live at home FOREVER!!!!




Sunday, October 23, 2005

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!"

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution

is the distance between your knees and the floor.


The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.

Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.





Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Crystal did her eighth day of treatment in her 21 day cycle yesterday.. She had a reaction again like she did on the first round. Thank goodness she was still in OKC and Vick got her straight to the emergency room. Her reaction wasn't as bad as last time or so they said. They kept her at the hospital and were giving her blood at 11pm because her levels were below 8. Pray for her and Vick. It's really hard on them. I feel guilty they wanted me to go with them yesterday but I thought it was more important to clean my carpets.........
It seems like just when we think things will be ok something happens that sets things bad again. Does that mean we should live each day like there is no tomorrow and if we did. What would we do...??? Would we party and carry on or would we live as good as we could and spend all our time telling others not to worry because we knew where we would go tomorrow??? Think about it.................................. It's a life altering decision!!!

Crystal is doing good!

She got to come home. They had to give her blood but she is much better.. thanks for your prayers... !

Crystal had a reaction.. PRAY FOR HER!!

Crystal did her eighth day of treatment in her 21 day cycle yesterday.. She had a reaction again like she did on the first round. Thank goodness she was still in OKC and Vick got her straight to the emergency room. Her reaction wasn't as bad as last time or so they said. They kept her at the hospital and were giving her blood at 11pm because her levels were below 8. Pray for her and Vick. It's really hard on them. I feel guilty they wanted me to go with them yesterday but I thought it was more important to clean my carpets.........
It seems like just when we think things will be ok something happens that sets things bad again. Does that mean we should live each day like there is no tomorrow and if we did. What would we do...??? Would we party and carry on or would we live as good as we could and spend all our time telling others not to worry because we knew where we would go tomorrow??? Think about it.................................. It's a life altering decision!!!

Decisions!!!

Crystal got home from the hospital. I went by to see her. She looks really worn out and tired. She was really white... Poor little girl.. God I love her soooo much.. She just has to be ok... She just has too... Vickie is worn out too... (that's her mom) It's a long haul... Wish them luck and pray that God will Bless them through this and make them stronger...

My friend called me today.. welll actually his mom called first. She was having trouble finding a lawyer. She didn't find one. Then he called he got out on bond. His mom is having to pay out the bail bondsman. I have such mixed feelings about this. I mean I have really grown close to this kid.............. But he told me he will be arrested in the next day or so also for charges in Greer county. Ok..... this is getting personal. I have no idea what for in Greer county. I'm assuming the same thing larceny and drugs. My sister's storage along with about 10 or more other peoples got broken into recently. She got a rocker stolen that her first husband bought her when she was preg with her first child. The rocker was an antique and she has had it for almost 40 yrs. Why would someone do those things??? Was it my friend? If so how do I really feel about him now? Where is my loyalty at with my sister if I befriend someone who possibly stole .. maybe not from her but from someone.... But where is my Christianity at if I turn my back on a friend in trouble. Could I be the turning point that could possibly show his the Way of the Lord and him turn his life around..??????? I have always wanted to be a counselor in a drug and rehab center for teens............ If I turn my back on him.. what kind of person am I .. I surely wouldn't be fit for the job I feel is part of a calling from God.... But if I defend him and stick by him what am I saying to others and to my sister???????????

My middle son is preaching tonight.... Maybe God has a message for me from someone that is so much like me and yet so different from me... An answer to this fence I am riding.. Do I support a friend or not? I have already told him I don't agree with it.. and how wrong I think he was for this................................ But do you kick a man when he is down or do you reach down and help to pull him out of the mess????

Restless ~~~~~

RESTLESS~~~~~~~

I can't sleep. Everyone in the house is asleep. I"m the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. I have my family, they are all healthy. No real big problems except short on money, but who isn't. Yet my mind wonders and I can't sleep.

I talked to Crystal tonight. She is on the second day of her start of her third round of chemo. She is doing good. My youngest was over there trying to cheer her up. Big job for someone's baby huh? But he is a great kid with big shoulders, I"m sure he can handle it!!!

My oldest son and his family came in today. He took my granddaughter hunting. The video was really good, she is so precious. Hearing her talk to her DAD all dressed up in camo and sitting in a hunting blind talking about the four deer about 150 feet off. It's priceless. Watching Brad with his son right before bedtime. The little one crawling all over the floor playing chase with his dad. It makes me so happy to see what a great DAD my son is. I'm sooo lucky!!

Sometimes I know my middle son wouldn't want to know this but we are more alike that he wants to believe or see. All his friends come to him for advice and with their problems. Today was my day to be like him I think ?

There are others out there not so lucky. I worked today. I transported some foster kids. They had a visit with DAD. The DHS can't really find anything that DAD did but marry a psycho that burned their youngest with cigarettes to try to get it blamed on DAD so she would get custody in the divorce. They can't prove what happened. He passed the lie detector, she didn't. But still DAD hasn't had but one hour a week supervised visits with his sons in over a year now. It makes me so sad.

I got an email from a child that used to be in foster care. Her and her brother are part of the tribal now. Their mom is getting out of jail this week and they might get to go back and live with her soon. The little girl wanted to know if I would come to her brother's football game when he plays in our town soon. She said he was upset because his mom said she couldn't go to a football game. She would be too busy since she is just getting out of jail and needs to see all her old friends and look for a job. WOW... she isn't even out of jail yet but she already knows she will be to busy to watch her son she hasn't seen in 3 yrs play football..................................................... Amasing huh?????!!!!!!

Then tonight my phone rings. It's the grandmother of the little boy that had his tonsils out. The little boy is crying. He hasn't heard from mom since the day she showed up at the elevator when we were leaving the hospital. So they called me. I enjoy being everyone's favorite. But I can't take the place of his mom no matter how hard I try. The mom is off somewhere doing drugs and the little boy is crying himself to sleep.

It's strange that my phone rang twice tonight with problems. There is a boy in my psychology class at college. I have sorta adopted him. He is a troubled teenager. I could see it from day one. He put my number in his phone one day saying if he ever needed mothering he would call me. Just as a joke at school. Tonight his mom called me. She was crying so hard I could hardly understand her. They had just arrested him. He was with some friends on Sunday night. They robbed a place. She claims he was just with them but didn't want to and didn't do anything but hold the door. That is the only place they could find his finger prints. But they did find them on the door. He told her to call me and see if I knew a good lawyer. I told her one. Then she started to cry even harder saying they don't have any money. She can't afford a lawyer. I don't really know what she wanted from me.?? She said he has court tomorrow to post bond. She has no money for bond, no money for a lawyer. Did she think I was going to offer to pay his bond and help? I wish I could but I can't do this. I barely know the kid, but I could tell he was a troubled kid from the first time I ever saw him. He wrote some poems and I read them. They are heart breaking. Now I can't sleep. I told her I would call tomorrow to see how court went. What can I tell this woman???

I had a bad day at work today. Nothing special just restless I guess wondering if I was doing the right thing. Keeping my job and going to school. What difference could I make. I"m just one person. There are tons of mixed up people who either abandon or neglect their children. Why do I think I could make a difference???

But laying in bed beside my hubby and my granddaughter I think. You know I"m just one person. I"m not perfect, I have made millions of mistakes, but I have raised good, Christian kids. Maybe just maybe I could make a difference in just one of these kids lives. Maybe just maybe they could find love and direction instead of anger, hate, drugs, alcohol, or trouble. Did God put me in college to be a worker or because of the kids I would meet while I am going to college............

Don't we wish we had the answers and could see into the future.??? Pray for my foster kids.. Yes they are mine... Pray for my college friend... Pray for me.... God has a plan. I'm just not sure what it is. Don't let me go down the wrong path because I am looking for the right one so hard!!!!

Good Nite... Sleep tight... I wish I may, I wish I might, Have this wish I wish tonight!!!!

Tomorrow is Another Day!!

I have to work tomorrow.............. Some days I wish I didn't work at the job I do.. it's depressing..................... But the kids are so needy... I feel wanted, needed and loved.......................... I have this problem.. I like to be everyone's favorite... That isn't hard with my job... I don't take the kids out of the home.. I'm the one that takes them to see their parents... or buys them an ice cream.... I give them hugs and try to make them feel like they are the most important thing in my life......................................... AT that moment.. They are.. each and everyone of them.... Foster kids....God Bless each and every one of them tonight................. Give them hope and calm their fears.!!!
Crystal is in the hospital for the next 3 days.. she is starting her third chemo treatment.... pray for her.. she is a brave little girl!!!

I"M BACK!!

Well it took me about 3 days.. and tons of phone calls and emails..but I'm back with my Yahoo email and messenger.... I'm not sure who stole it.. I'm not sure they won't do it again....here is what happened. When I logged on my yahoo messenger on Thursday I had a message from a friend that said.. I updated my web page go here and take a look.. it had a link on it.. I went there.. it was a porn advertisement...I logged out and couldn't use my account after that until about 2 am this morning when I finally got an email from yahoo with a new password... The strange thing is.. I logged on my other yahoo messengers... both of them had a message from me on Friday that said the exact same thing as my friends had when he sent it to me.. I never sent myself a message... I have talked to several other people.. all my kids got a message from me on Yahoo also... and I know 4 of my friends have.. The only way I was able to get my account back was they looked back over the years and I knew the answers to my test question.. I could name 5 previous passwords.. I could name at least 5 email address in my address book.. I knew the last few emails i had recieved...I knew the birthday and zip code that were used to set up the account... Who ever it was had gone in and changed all my info in my account.. the birthday was wrong..the zip code as wrong.. it had my address as argentina or something like that... my name was changed to fuck you.. it was the weirdest thing I have ever seen.... but I hope it's all change back now and working ok...So beware~~~!!

The races Saturday night were great.. Until they decided to do as they always do... take out the winner reguardless of who it hurts.... The took Jason out on purpose.. I am so sick of this... I'm GLAD it was the last race of the season!!!! I'm not sure I want him to even race next year.... The owner has his favorites and the good clean young driver.. who minds his own business... drives clean and wins anyway is not one of his favorites.. it doesn't get the crowd going!!!! The idiot!! I wish I had the money to build our own track and put him out of business!!!! I can name at least 20 or more drives that have stopped driving because of him!! and his rules that change depending on who you are..!!!

We went to baby sit my grandchildren on Sunday... Man oh MAN I love those kids!!! It made my week.. Then we stopped by the casino on our way home.. I came home 210 bucks ahead.. not bad....!!

Update on Crissy...

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The news on Crystal... Here is her picture....She is one happy little girl right now... she has a chance of making it..!!!

Well here is the story.. Crystal had to go to the doctor in OKC today(Thursday) for the Gallium test .. When they were doing the test the tech guy said I don't see any live cancer cells... now where did they say it was..(last time it was in her neck and left shoulder as big as 2 large fist and laying on her heart).. Then they see the doctor that found the cancer in the hallway.. She says I hear you have good news... the mass is about 75 to 80% smaller... They met with the clinic doctor at 1PM.. This is when they heard the rest of the news.. it is only about as big as a silver dollar.. It has no active cancer cells and it is basically dead and not growing..!!! PRAISE GOD!!! We know he is the only one that can be given credit for this.. God is amasing!!! He is so Awesome... Crystal will still do the next two rounds of chemo and might still have to have radiation after that... Just to be on the safe side because they can't operate and take it out because of where it is... BUT.... it's stopped growing.. it's not alive.. and it's 75% smaller..!!!!!!

WOW!!!!! Thank you Jesus, for hearing everyone's prayers.. Now just keep up the good work... Give Crystal a testomony that will cause non believers to fall to their knees... !!

Help!!! Email me !!

I still can't get into my usual email.... So if you can read this email me at Merssadie@yahoo.com I don't have anyone's email and it won't let me track the email from this blog spot... So Partha or anyone else if you read this email my Merssadie@yahoo.com so I can get your email and not loose contact..PLEASE!!!

HELP!! Yahoo hates me!!

I have had the same email address for 6 yrs.. my email has everything in it.. I can't believe what has happened to me.. It keeps saying I have an invalid password.... I haven't changed it.. It's been the same for over a year.... HELP What do I do??

The Cancer is SMALLER!!! Thank you God!!

The Cancer is smaller!!! Thank you GOD!!!!
I just got word from my sister... Crystal's tumor is quite a bit smaller... The tech guy showed them when he was doing the test... Now they have to meet with the doctor at 1PM to see what she has to say and what they will do next.... Wish them luck and send your PRAYERS!!! Thanks... Just me..

Pray for Crystal today!!

Pray for Crystal today!!

My 13 yr old niece is at OKC Children's Hospital today. She is doing the battery of test to see how much her Cancer has changed. She has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. They just found it in August. It was the size of two large fists starting in her neck, going down to the lymphon nodes under her left arm, and resting across her heart. Surgery because of where it is.. Is NOT an option. In addition to the mass she also has Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. That is how they found the mass. They were looking to see what was causing her to within two week (after she first started to have problem) she was acting like she had sever MS. This was a normal teenager ready to go to Falls Creek the last week of July and by the Last week in August she can't hold her balance, can't walk across the floor alone, you can barely understand what she is saying, she has trouble holding her head up straight and everything in blurred to her. But she got the RMSF because GOD wanted them to find them to find the mass.

I don't work until 2 today.. I have to transport foster children.. They have a visit with their mom...They turn into wild animals when they see her. They are pretty good kids when they are with the dad.. and they are very well behaved sweethearts when they are with the foster parents. They are just two and five. The plan is to let them go home with Dad soon. I wonder... I had my nieces when they were small for 18 months while their mom and dad "worked on their Marriage" (it didnt' work by the way.. ) but the girls went back home.. Mom and Dad had a rocky, unstable marriage, their home life reflected it and the girls turned out to be mothers at 15, used drugs, and have horrible lives, even worse than their parents. I wonder sometimes since I started this job.. Is it better to leave some children in the system for them to be foster children and have a chance of changing rather than putting them back into the same enviroment and letting them see the same things???

It turned cold here yesterday... here I put on capris and sandals and before I got home it was 65 degrees, raining like crazy and the wind was horrible... Good OLD OKLAHOMA!!!!! LOL

Monday!!!

Hey MONDAY is over.. It's smooth sailing now huh??

Brad is here.. well he is in and out.. He is hunting early and late and plowing for his father in law between..I can't remember when it was just Me, Henry and Brad... of course they watched speed and outdoor channel.. talked tournament and racing.. It was nice to hear them.. I miss my boys... I'm not sure I know how to NOT be a MOM.... I know I don't want to unlearn what I know or stop being a mom... I just miss my babies, my teenagers and my young men... They are and will always be my world!!

Today I was in the hall at school. A lady that we had her kids in custody came up to me all upset.. Seems her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is trying to start trouble with her.. She thinks the woman is going to tell lies on her. The woman I was talking to just got her kids back last week.. She wanted me to call work and tell them if someone calls in a complaint about how she is treating her kids not to listen to them.. It's the other woman trying to cause trouble..(and how do I know that??? ) I was embarrassed.. It wasn't the time or the place to have a grouch session about what I needed to do so she doesn't loose her kids again... I just gave her a hug and said.. If your not doing anything wrong.. Don't worry about it... The allegations won't stick... But is that true.?? Sometimes do parents get bummed wrapped for charges that they are abusing their kids.. When really they are just trying to be good parents.... Probably... sometimes.... BUT... It's hard to be a good parent.. and even harder to prove yourself after you have messed up.... I can't give that woman advice.. I'm not perfect or anywhere close to being the perfect Mom.... I do know one thing though.. if some man...(who isn't even her babies dad.. and I mean babies.. twins not even 2 and a little girl barely 3) anyway.. if that man was making me in jeopardy of loosing my kids (yet again) I would tell him and his EX to hit the road... I would worry about my kids not some jealous maniac and her lover.!!! Priorities... Sometimes that is the problem.!!

Where are our priorities?? Think about it.. what do you spend the most time doing or worrying about.. is it what you should be doing or are you just wasting time and money when you should be worrying about something that will matter .... I had a friend tell me once.. will it matter tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.?? If it will matter in five years then it's worth worrying about.. if not don't waist the time on it or on trying to change it.. it won't matter if you do or not...!! Think about it..!!

Crystal went today to have some of her tests redone.. She had a CAT scan, chest X-Rays, the gallium put in for that test to be done on Thursday... Blood work.. stuff like that.. I just know she is going to get a good report... I can feel it.. I just know the tumor is shrinking.... She had blood on Friday.. She says she is feeling so much better now... God is a good and just God.. He has his reasons for everything... WE don't always know what they are..but he won't give us anything we can't handle......... Crystal is a strong little girl.. She will be wise way beyond her years when she beats this thing called.. CANCER... Hodgkin's Lymphoma............

I remember the first time I ever heard of Hodgkin's Lymphoma... I thought of yeah.. hummm what is that.... but I didn't really understand what it was............. I will never hear those words again without a knot in my stomach and an alarm going off in my head...

Life is precious... Don't waist a minute.. Hug your kids.. Let them KNOW you love them... Teach them right from wrong so you never have to worry about if they got Cancer where would their hearts be... KNOW they love God as much as you do.. and if you don't KNOW God.. then get on your knees.. IT"S WAY PAST TIME!!!!!!!!!~~~~

Some pics from the Weekend...

The Weekend is already over!!!

Man that was a short weekend.... It seems it rushed by so fast...
Hubby got home a bit ago.. He won second in the tournament this weekend... Not big bucks but it paid his expenses. He is dead tired though.. He already headed for bed.
Jason and Hank have already left for the week. Hank will be back probably tomorrow night. He has to do some student teaching at LW Tues and again on Thursday... Brad is coming down in the morning to hunt and plow for his father in law.. He said something about bringing Kali with him but that didn't work out. I'm not sure how long he will be staying.. but it will be nice to have him here for a while.
I know your dying to know how the races went over the weekend... Well they went horrible.. What is it that makes a black cloud follow us around??? They races were going great.. Jason was shining, Sometimes they were 3 or 4 wide and Jason wasn't givin an inch.. He was gradually gaining and passing everyone even though he had to start at the back like always.... Then if it weren't for bad luck we wouldn't have any luck... He broke an axle.....!!!!!!! What the crap??? See what I mean.... We can't win for loosing!!!!! Fate hates us at the races!!!
I got a new digital camera on Friday... My brother, his wife and son came in at mom's so everyone was there and we took some pics... I will have to load some on here so you can see everyone... We always tease that Mom just cooks when he comes home..but it sure was good food and good fun!!
Crystal goes to OKC to the doctor tomorrow they are going to run all the tests and see how much the cancer is responding to the Chemo... PLease everyone PRAY........................... Only God can take this and turn it around to a blessing and a witness for him!!!!
I better get to workin on my homework.. Have a good week.. and
REMEMBER Stop and smell the roses... Thank God for what you have... don't look for the bad.... Look for the good in everything.. I mean.. the glass is Half full--NOT half empty!!! :-)

The Weekend!!

It's here... the thing we all look forward to.... The WEEKEND!!
I just went to my first hour class yesterday, then I skipped out and went shopping..... MAN OH MAN... my feet were tired.. I got some good buys though. I bought a new digital camera. I sure hope it takes good pics. I"m excited to start to use it.
Crystal had to go back to the hospital yesterday. It seems her blood levels and platelets are really low. This upset her. But Vick said after they got to the hospital she was better. They said it could be done as out patient, but they got there about 10 and they didn't start giving her blood until 6. Don't ask me why.?? So they admitted her and she stayed over night. I haven't heard how it went yet. I will call them later to find out. Jason went by the hospital. He said she seems ok.. But then she always seems ok unless you catch her at a moment like I did last week.
She wanted to go watch Jason race tonight. He just has two races left and his dad is gone fishing for the weekend so he will be on his own in the pits tonight.. I hope there isn't any trouble!!!
I"m a little worried about Hank. He seems to be in a funny mood lately. I'm not sure what it is. He seems torn and troubled. Pray for him.. Thanks.!!